I envy people who worship easily because I don’t. There are songs I won’t sing (“It Is Well With my Soul”, because it’s not) and there are lines of songs I won’t sing (“Jesus you are all I want”, because He’s not). I envy people who can sing these songs because they are true for them. I also envy people who can sing these lines because they want them to be true for them. I can’t. I envy people who can worship for the way it will be like. I don’t. But I do worship.
pro·fane (pr-fn, pr-) adj.
1. Marked by contempt or irreverence for what is sacred.
2. Nonreligious in subject matter, form, or use; secular: sacred and profane music.
I even love some traditional hymns, especially “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.”
I can worship with Robert Robinson when he says,
Prone to wonder Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.
I feel that way sometimes. I, too, am prone to wonder. I, too, am prone to leave the God I love.
I get that.
I also love Amazing Grace. I can worship with John Newton when he says,
Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.
I get these hymns.
I feel these words.
I even like some modern worship/praise songs, especially “Blessed be Your name.”
I can worship with Matt Redman when he says,
Blessed be Your name. When the sun’s shining down on me. When the world’s all as it should be. Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name. On the road marked with suffering. Though there’s pain in the offering. Blessed be Your name
Most modern praise songs tend to be about the bright and shiny parts of life.
I like that this one is also about the darker and dirty parts.
Because that’s my life.
My life does indeed have the bright and shining moments! Much of my life is amazingly beautiful!
But I have also walked the “road marked with suffering.”
And there has been “pain in the offering.”
My life has both. And so this becomes my prayer.
But more often than not I worship with a profane worship.
I worship with songs written by people who don’t believe in – and are at times even hostile towards – the God love.
Regardless of what I do with Reel Parables, I don’t tend to see God everywhere or in everything.
I don’t usually see a beautiful sunrise (like the ones I’ve seen off the coast of Florida) or a beautiful sunset (like I’ve seen off the coast of California and Mexico) and immediately praise God or thank Him for His amazing creation.
Worship does not always come easily for me.
But I do feel what others feel. And sometimes it’s the non-religious ones that capture my feelings the best.
The Sinner in Me – Depeche Mode
When Dave Gahan sings,
If I could just hide, the sinner inside, and keep him denied. How great life would be, if I could be free, from the sinner in me.”
I know what he means.
I am very aware of my sin.
This song becomes my song of confession and gives me the outlet to confess my sins to God. (I John 1:9-10)
I don’t wallow in them.
I’m reminded of them.
I confess them.
And it reminds me that God already took care of them. And that draws me closer to God.
Why? Because he loves me unconditionally.
Put another way, God loves me despite all of my past, current or future sh!t.
Unconditional – the Bravery
I’ve spent my whole life surrounded and I’ve spent my whole life alone.
I wonder why I never wonder why the easiest things are so hard.
I just want, I just want love. I just want, I just want love. I just want, I just want love.
I just want something, something for nothing. Something, something for nothing.
I get this song. I too want unconditional love (see above).
And when Sam Endicott wonders why the easiest things are so hard, I get it!
This song becomes my prayer as I wrestle with how God could love me so unconditionally.
For I don’t understand what I am doing. For I do not do what I want – instead, I do what I hate.
Indeed. Why are the easiest things so hard?
Regardless, I found what the Bravery longs for. I found my unconditional love.
But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
God loved me before I every loved Him. His love for me is not conditional on my love for Him.
God loves me unconditional.
When I sing this song I praise God that He loves me that way.
I praise God that He loves me unconditionally.
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Until next time, God bless.
Simon L Smith